Friday, November 7, 2008

You Got Dotted

I want to start off this blog by addressing what no doubt most of you have already noticed. You might want to make sure that nothing expensive that can be thrown across the room is around you as you read this, cause I have more bad news. As I informed you yesterday, Kyle Madsen resigned from his position as a Club Trillion blogger. His membership to the Club was not revoked, but rather he is no longer participating in the upkeep of the blog. Unfortunately, Danny Peters informed me this morning that he too would not be able to maintain his portion of the blog, for personal reasons I cannot reveal. Danny's contribution to the blog will be missed. With that being said, I'm not going anywhere. I am here to please the fans (still mulling over the choices for your nickname), even if it means I will have to do all the work. I will periodically have guest bloggers, hopefully including current and former Buckeye basketball greats and mediocres. Now that that's out of the way, let me address what I originally planned to do for this blog.

I don't want to beat a dead horse (and really I don't want to beat a live horse either), but my jumpshot is smoother than the lines Macaulay Culkin had to use to get Mila Kunis to date him. (I'm guessing "Buzz...your girlfriend...woof!" wasn't part of the initial conversation.) Because I was blessed with such a pure art form and have pretty much mastered the ability to make a 25 footer, I struggle to find new ways to keep myself entertained. (I would try dunking, but it's still only worth 2 points.) Until I came up with my new project for the rest of my career at Ohio State. It's called my "People To Dot" list and I have it taped to my locker for all to see. Allow me to explain. We have a saying around the program that when someone shoots a jumper over a defender's outstretched arms, said defender just got "dotted." This phrase comes from the notion that the defender makes up the long part of the letter "i" and the ball serves as the dot. We would call it "dotting the i", but apparently some other group at Ohio State came up with that phrase just a few days before we did. I suggested calling it "tittling the i", but the coaches refused to believe that the dot of an "i" is actually called a tittle. Plus, that sounds incredibly inappropriate to say out loud. So we stuck with "dotting." Anyway, my list consists of the players in the program I have yet to "dot." The current list includes:

Jeremie Simmons
William Buford
Walter Offutt
Anthony Crater
Zisis Sarikopoulos
P.J. Hill
Nikola Kecman
J.J. Grycko

If your favorite player isn't on this list, it's because I can't "dot" myself. If your second favorite player isn't on this list, then I hate to say it but at some point over the last two years (I didn't keep track my freshman year) they fell victim to my silky smooth J. In case you were wondering, I did, in fact, "dot" Jamar Butler, Othello Hunter, Matt Terwilliger, and Kosta Kofous last year. Every time I get a new victim from here on out, I will be sure to post it on the blog. To make it clear on what exactly qualifies as a "dot", here are the rules I have laid out:

1) The defender has to be making an attempt to challenge/block the shot.
2) The "dot" must occur in a live game situation, such as scrimmaging, going over scout team, or doing drills.
3) I must let the defender know after he gets "dotted" that I'm a walk-on and I only practice shooting for maybe 30 seconds a day.

I encourage you to make your own "People To Dot" list. Even if you don't play basketball you can make wads of paper and "dot" your co-workers as you throw away your trash. Also, feel free to add or detract any rules that would better suit your situation. Get creative with it. It promises to be the most fun you'll ever have.

Your Friend and My Favorite,

Mark Titus (#34)
Club Trillion Co-Founder