I apologize for not posting an entry in a few days. Because of this, I feel like I should reward The Trillion Man March. With that, I have a feeling this post will probably be a little longer than normal, but you can always just read half of it, watch a few re-runs of Seinfeld, and come back and finish it.
I've been getting all sorts of e-mails from a reader in Huber Heights named Dale. How he got my e-mail address is something I'm not too sure of, and why he continues to send me e-mails with oddball questions is yet another mystery to me. With that being said, I thought I would field his questions, because the bizarre nature of them is exactly what Club Trillion's blog is all about. I am thinking of turning Dale's questions into a segment we can do here on the blog called "Ten Questions with Club Trillion." So Dale, if you are reading, keep the questions coming. Here's the e-mail I got from him the other day...
"What's up Mark? I love your blog, and I swear to God I love everything that is scarlet and gray. My name is Dale R. "Woody" Thornton III and I'm originally from Farmersville, Ohio but now live in Huber Heights. I like take-n-bake pizza and men that wear red knit sweater vests. I haven't always followed Ohio State Basketball, but I saw something about this blog on one of them fancy Buckeye forums (if you don’t have one of them set as your homepage, you might as well move to Ann Arbor, cause you're not a true Buckeyes fan.) Anyways, I checked this little blog out and I'll admit it - you're pretty funny for a guy with no Buckeye helmet stickers. I was voted "Most Inquisitive" by the Dixie High class of '92 and I was wondering if I could get some questions answered. So here goes nothing.
1) I bet you can’t even count to a trillion, college boy.
2) Can you get me football tickets?
3) Has Thad Matta ever thought about wearing a red vest?
4) Should I paint my station wagon gray with scarlet flames or scarlet with gray flames?
5) I heard Danny Peters doesn’t like country music. Is this true?
6) What should I re-name my hound? I got him last year and named him Kosta Koufos Thornton, but now I can’t look at him without thinking he’s going to up and leave me all too soon.
7) My nephew can really hoop. He is a junior right now at Wayne High, and would be starting if it wasn’t for all the danged politics out here. He should be a football recruit but he got mono his freshman year and never recovered. I rebounded for him this summer and he can flat out knock down free throws. Can I tell him that Thad will give him a scholarship? If it matters, he is 5'9", 145 pounds, and plays small forward.
8) For some reason I couldn’t get tickets to the Michigan game this year. I’m still going to tailgate with some of my high school buddies and a couple of my coworkers from the body shop, though. We aren’t really familiar with Columbus. Where's a good spot for a guy to roll down to after he's had 8 or 9 beers and catch the game without some liberal telling me to stop being so loud 'because it's not like Tressel can hear what you're saying?'
9) If your life was an 80s metal song, what would it be? Mine would be 'Runnin with the devil'
10) Which would you rather - have a wolverine eat your sister or be forced to transfer to Michigan?
Dale R. 'Woody' Thornton III
Dixie High '92"
I trust you understand why I chose to include Dale's e-mail in the blog. I almost feel like I have to answer his questions, based on the sheer creativity he has behind them. Here are your answers, Dale.
1) That's not even a question, and no I won't do it.
2) Again, I won't do it.
3) Coach Matta didn't want to ride Coach Tressel's coattails, so he established his own niche of letting his chewing gum fall out of his mouth.
4) It's really your call on this one, Dale. I'd go with gray and scarlet flames, but that's just one man's opinion.
5) Danny is not the biggest country music fan, but he does know his fair share of songs and can be caught singing along with the country I blast in the weight room from time to time.
6) I think you would be doing this great country, and more importantly this blog, a disservice if you didn't re-name your hound Club Trillion Thornton.
7) I put in a good word to Coach Matta for him. I hope things work out. Too bad I won't be around to play with him when he gets here.
8) One of the stipulations of the blog is that I cannot talk about restaurants or bars or really any kind of business on here because of the perception that said business might be giving me under the table money. However, I'm sure The Trillion Man March can help you out by suggesting some places in the comments section. (Don't let me down, guys)
9) I'm going to go with "Here I Go Again" by Whitesnake. I actually jammed to this song when Danny and Kyle told me they weren't going to be a part of the blog anymore.
10) Annnnnnnddddd THIS question is why I pray that Dale continues sending me these e-mails...
If you are out there Dale, keep them coming. As for the rest of The Trillion Man March, I might be willing to answer your fan mail at some point in time down the road. I will have to create a new e-mail address and make sure the questions are worthy enough for the blog before I make any commitments, but I could see it happening sometime soon. Also, our first real game is on Thursday against Delaware State at 6:30 in St. John Arena, so be there or be a fraud. It's really your choice. I'll have my analysis of the game probably by Friday night, and I might even have a little OSU-Michigan preview for The Trillion Man March. You won't want to miss it.
Bone-Crushing Screens: 0 to date (0 last game)
#34 Jerseys: 0 to date (0 last game)
Your Friend and My Favorite,
Mark Titus (#34)
Club Trillion Co-Founder