Friday, December 26, 2008

Christmas In Columbus

Christmas was yesterday, but was celebrated by the Titus family on Christmas Eve because being a college basketball player is synonymous with never celebrating holidays on the days they are intended to be celebrated. Christmas provided me with an opportunity of partaking in my favorite holiday tradition of tagging "ya filthy animal" on the end of every "Merry Christmas" I dished out. I realize that this annoyed a few people, but I refuse to apologize for re-enacting the greatest scene from either of the two "Home Alone" movies verbatim. I am fully aware that there were three "Home Alone" movies (NOTE: I have since been informed there are four "Home Alone" movies. When will it ever end?), but I treat "Home Alone 3" like "The Godfather: Part III"--I refuse to admit it ever happened.

We practiced on Christmas Eve from 9 p.m. to about 11:30 p.m. We practiced on Christmas from 2 p.m. to 6 p.m. There is no joke in this paragraph. I have sat here for an hour trying to think of a way to make the fact that we practiced for about 4 hours on Christmas funny, and I just can't do it. Let's collectively put this behind us and move on to the next paragraph.

We are currently staying in The Blackwell, an on campus hotel, in preparation for our game tomorrow against West Virginia. Kyle, Danny, and I are following our usual night before game routine of hanging out in our room, watching TV, and discussing whether or not we could individually drink a gallon of milk in an hour. Danny and I always get pizza and I always make Danny order because calling a pizza place is a top five phobia of mine. The rest of the top five phobias (in order) are dogophobia (fear of dogs), heightsaphobia (fear of heights), losingmyredoinkulouslywetjumpshotphobia (fear of losing my redoinkulously wet jumpshot), and chipotlegoingoutofbusinessphobia (fear of Chipotle going out of business). I really can't explain why I have a fear of calling pizza places, nor do I have any idea how I developed it. Whatever the case, I am very adamant about never calling a pizza place, even if the terms of my phobia make as much sense as playing a keyboard that is attached to a wall.

Because Evan Turner was "salty main" for the pranks I pulled on him, I made the decision to move on to a new target. And because Danny frequently claims that The Trillion Man March hates him, I think he would be perfect for the next series of pranks. So here's the deal. I loved the idea we used on Evan last time of sending him Facebook messages and then ultimately sending him down the road to insanity. I loved it so much that I think we need to do a similar thing to Danny, but with twist. Since Danny reads the blog (Hi Danny!), the notion of sending him messages until he notices is out the window. However, Danny doesn't have his Facebook wall activated, even though he is pretty much constantly on Facebook (he is on as I am writing this entry). I'm thinking for our next project, we need to send Danny messages on Facebook telling him to reactivate his wall and refuse to quit until he activates it. Evan got over 300 messages, so I'm expecting Danny to get at least that. Because his wall is deactivated, the only way to communicate with Danny is sending him a message, which means the legitimate messages will get lost in the shuffle of messages from The Trillion Man March. I'll give a segment from his bio on the team's website for everyone to copy into a message. This way we can be united in our quest for Danny to activate his wall and be accessible to The Trillion Man March. I love mischief.

Bone-Crushing Screens: 1 to date (1 last game)

Danny Peters Biography Segment:

"Recorded his first career steal against Iowa (1/9/08)."

Copy and paste that line and send it to Danny's Facebook. I apologize for every prank involving Facebook, but I can't think of any other way to allow The Trillion Man March to participate. Any suggestions are welcome.

Here is the same video as a link, for all you iPhone users out there.

Your Friend and My Favorite,

Mark Titus
Club Trillion Founder