Monday, October 12, 2009

Fan Appreciation Week

I’m of the opinion that the process of reflecting plays a pivotal role in the maturation and development of a society or an individual.  Before we can get to where we want to be in this life we must first understand where we currently are.  Anyone who saw what I assume is the Asian version of Pocahontas can tell you that without reflection it’s impossible to know that you are wearing just a little too much makeup on your face.  The importance of reflection explains why the developers of the Taj Mahal and the Lincoln Memorial chose to place reflecting pools near their monuments and also explains why The Villain spends virtually every waking moment looking at himself in a mirror.

(By the way, I bet the guy who invented the mirror had a hard time convincing people that he wasn’t full of himself…

“Hey guys, I just invented something that let’s you look at yourself whenever you want.”

“Uhh…why would you want to do that? What’s so special about you that makes you want to look at yourself?”

“Nothing, it’s just that, ya know, I thought it would be cool if you could see if your hair was sticking up or something.”

“Either that or you thought it would be cool to constantly check out your flawless six pack from a better angle, you arrogant prick.”

Yeah, I’m pretty sure that’s how the initial conversation went.)

As this blog approaches its one year anniversary/birthday (not really sure which term is appropriate in this situation), I thought it was important for me to reflect on how far it has come.  When I started this blog, I did so out of boredom from the combination of living by myself and nothing being on TV.  I had no intention of writing it for much longer than a month and my only real goal was to expose a handful of people to my favorite YouTube videos.  Now one year later, I’ve ruined two Simmons podcasts, I’ve been denied by the NBA (and countless women), and I’ve had my embarrassing combination of serious face and faux hawk on the front page of  I’ve achieved infinite times more success with this thing than I ever could have dreamed of and absolutely none of it could have been possible without you.  This is why I’m devoting an entire week to give back to the Trillion Man March.

Some of you may have missed my last post and in doing so didn’t read the announcement about how I’m claiming October 18th through October 24th to be Club Trillion’s Fan Appreciation Week (still waiting for the government to officially declare it).  I outlined a contest that prompted the Trillion Man March to send in stories about how you used to and/or still are riding the bench on your sports team or just in life in general (if you missed it, go back and read the latter part of the last post for all the rules and regs).  So far I’ve received a solid number of entries, but I’m yet to receive one that I think is the unquestionable winner.  With that in mind, you only have until October 15th to send your story in, so get to it.  If it doesn’t suck, I’ll publish it and you can brag to the two other people in your circle of friends who would think that it’s remotely impressive that you got something published on Club Trillion.

In the last post, I also promised that there would be much more to Fan Appreciation Week than just the writing contest, and if there’s anything my countless failed relationships have taught me it’s that lying is an awful way to tell someone you love them.  And since I love each and every one of you, I’m going to stick to my promise and outline everything else that will make up Fan Appreciation Week right now.

Free T-Shirts

Even though NCAA rules prohibit me from taking free stuff from just about anybody, I’m pretty confident that I’m permitted to give out free stuff to you all.  I had ten t-shirts with the CLUB TRIL logo made up (I would have had more, but these things cost money and money is something I simply don’t have) and will be distributing them throughout Fan Appreciation Week.  There is, however, some bad news to go with the t-shirt handout.

I’ve thought about how to hand out the t-shirts and every idea I have come up with involves me using my Twitter account in some fashion.  This is bad news because I’m guessing most of you don’t have Twitter accounts due to the fact that “Twitter sux” and you “don’t know why anyone would care that I’m having eggs and toast for breakfast”.  I completely understand your frustration but unfortunately, Twitter is really the only way I can give out the t-shirts because it’s the only fair way to do it.  In most cases, I’ll post a Club Trillion trivia question on Twitter and the first person to e-mail me with the correct answer will get the shirt.  I also plan on hiding shirts on campus and revealing their location via Twitter.  Because Twitter is a live stream site, it makes the most sense to do it that way.

If you really want a t-shirt but don’t have a Twitter account, I suggest making one to follow me (here’s my Twitter page) during Fan Appreciation Week and deleting it at the end of the week.  I know it’s a hassle, but it honestly won’t take longer than five minutes to create an account (if you’re old, have your kids make one for you) and there really isn’t a better way for me to hand these things out.  If you do make an account and follow only me, you actually will have a better chance of winning a shirt than those who are following more people because only my tweets will show up on your feed, which means it’s less likely for you to miss the t-shirt announcements.  Just something to think about.

All E-mails Get A Personal Response

Anybody who has ever sent me an e-mail has surely noticed that I respond to them almost as frequently as I shave my body hair (so about once a week).  It’s something I’m not really all that proud of (the lack of responding, I mean), which is why I thought that during Fan Appreciation Week I would personally respond to any and all e-mails sent to the Club Trillion e-mail account.  Due to the large number of e-mails I get on a daily basis (I consider more than one to be a large number), I usually put off responding as long as possible and then end up with the monumental task of responding to tons of e-mails all at once.  It’s a side to blogging that I never prepared myself for and I wish I had a better method, but as it stands I continue to let all sorts of e-mails get lost in the shuffle and then come up with various excuses as to why I forgot to respond.  Until now.

Fan Appreciation Week will give you the opportunity to ask me just about anything you want and be completely assured that I will respond.  Some of you have already taken it upon yourself to ask me something only to go months without hearing anything back from me.  If that’s the case, now is the perfect opportunity to ask again.  I vow to personally and truthfully write a response to every e-mail, which may sound like a pretty lame aspect of Fan Appreciation Week, but in reality will probably be a pretty hefty workload for me.  So send in your thoughts, suggestions, questions, and pictures you took of yourself in your bathroom mirror with your cell phone and I’ll do whatever it takes to write you back.

Letter of Recommendation for Anyone Applying to tOSU

Of the people who have sent me an e-mail in the past, a good portion of you did so because you were asking me to write something for you to use in some way.  The most frequent request was for me to write something for you to put on your own blog, but some of you requested that I write for your fantasy football league, write some sort of speech for you, or rewrite Swingers as a play for you and your theatre class to use in your end-of-the-year high school production (I obviously made up that last one, because I definitely would have done that had anybody actually asked).  Anyway, I declined virtually every request, because I didn’t have the time to do all of them and I didn’t want to play favorites and choose one or two.  Basically I took the same approach towards these requests as I did with the general e-mails, which is why none of you ever heard from me after you sent me your request.

Now that Fan Appreciation Week is around the corner, I’ve decided to loosen up a little bit and offer my extremely one-dimensional and completely amateur writing services to a certain demographic of the Trillion Man March.  I’m not sure if it’s too late for high school seniors to apply to colleges, but if it’s not, I’m offering to write a letter of recommendation for any high school senior applying to Ohio State.  I’m pretty confident that you don’t need letters of recommendation to get into tOSU, which is why I think this aspect of Fan Appreciation Week will be doubly awesome. Also, I’m pretty confident having a letter of recommendation from me will be as helpful towards your chances of getting in as having a letter of recommendation from Mike Tyson.  I would be pretty terrified for the future of Ohio State if the admissions people really consider a letter from me to be beneficial to an applicant’s cause.  Come to think of it, there’s a pretty solid chance that my letter will actually be detrimental to your chances of getting in, so I’d think twice about asking for help from me if I were you.  Either way,  the offer has been put on the table and it’s your decision to take it or leave it.

Podcast With A Member of The Trillion Man March

This is definitely the biggest gamble of Fan Appreciation Week, but I’ve got my fingers crossed that it’s a gamble that’s going to pay off.  I plan on recording a podcast with a random one of you and plan on discussing just about anything.  Unfortunately, like the t-shirt giveaway, if you want a shot at being a podcast guest you are going to have to have a Twitter account.  I’ll post on my Twitter at some point in time during Fan Appreciation Week that the first person to call in will become the podcast guest.  Again, like the t-shirt giveaway, the live stream feature of Twitter makes it the only logical way to choose who will be the podcast guest, so I apologize to all of you who really hate Twitter or don’t completely understand it.  If you really want a t-shirt or want to be a podcast guest that badly, you should be willing to take the five minutes to create an account anyway, so it shouldn’t be that big of a deal.  All I ask is that if you do become the podcast guest, please don’t suck.  I’m already doing all I can to make the podcast boring, so I’d appreciate it if you brought at least one remotely interesting thing to the conversation.


Even though I want this to be a humorous and completely unserious blog, I do want to thank each and every one of you for being an integral part of the success and growth of what I’ve created.  At this time last year I was a nobody who was underachieving in the classroom and on the basketball court, but now I’m a nobody with a blog who’s underachieving in the classroom and on the basketball court.  It’s been a fun first year that has quite literally changed my life.  I feel incredibly blessed to have the chance to play practice for a top notch Division I basketball program and be able to tell stupid stories on here that people apparently enjoy reading.  Fan Appreciation Week may turn out to be an awful idea, but even if it is, it will completely be worth it to me because I think it’s important for all of you to know that I love you so much that I’d pick you up from the airport or help you move into a new apartment (please don’t hold me to this).  God bless the Trillion Man March and God bless America.


Streak for the Cash Group Leader: T. Rittenhouse, and T. Roche (streaks of 15)

Streak for the Cash Group Loser: J. Terry (streak of 11)

Your awesome YouTube was sent in to me by Mitch B.  There’s your shout-out, Mitch. And here’s your video.

Your Friend and My Favorite,

Mark Titus

Club Trillion Founder