Sunday, March 1, 2009

Before You Vote – One Last Look

Over the course of the next week, I am calling on the Trillion Man March to vote on the side of the blog for the whitest guy on the team. In case you missed the posts Kyle Madsen and I wrote for our respective campaigns, I have laid out a quick biography of both of us. Even if you did read the campaign posts, take a quick look at these lists and make sure you still think your favorite candidate is the right fit.

Kyle Madsen

Mark Titus

Endorsed by Evan “The Villain” Turner B.J. Mullens
Fastest mile 5:54 5:42
Best sporting event attended Memorial Golf Tournament Wrestlemania 22
Best concert attended Counting Crows with Goo Goo Dolls Tim McGraw and Faith Hill
First child’s name “Walker” or “Texas Ranger” Hepa
Sport you would play if not basketball Golf Bowling (high score of 257)
Song to be played at funeral Circle of Life Duh


NBA Jam team Rockets Blazers
Car Anything BMW Mutt Cuts Van from “Dumb and Dumber”
NBA player Chris Quinn Rudy Fernandez
Quote “America is subjectible to chemical attacks.”
-Walter Offutt
“Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things.”
-George Carlin
Sports moment OSU Final Four in 06-07 Robert Horry’s game winner against the Kings in 2002 Western Conference Finals
Sport to watch Basketball WWE
All-time album “New Amsterdam: Live at Heineken Hall” by Counting Crows “In Pieces” by Garth Brooks
All-time TV or movie character Ari Gold Randy Marsh
U.S. President Lincoln (because of his height) Taft (because of his stache)
Olympic event Bobsled Badminton
XFL player He Hate Me Kirby Dar Dar
Shade of Crayola blue Aquamarine Cerulean
Boy band Backstreet Boys O-Town
Tony Hawk Pro Skater character Bam Margera Rune Glifberg
“Goosebumps” book “Welcome to Camp Nightmare” “My Hairiest Adventure”
Board game Life Sorry!
Tie knot style Windsor Four-in-hand
Facial hair style Stubble beard Mustache
All-time NFL kicker Martin Gramatica Morten Andersen
OSU alum Jack Nicklaus Jim Jinkins, creator of “Doug”
Mighty Duck (only first 2 movies—D3 never happened) Greg Goldberg Lester Averman
Disney movie Aladdin Peter Pan
Daniel Stern movie Home Alone Celtic Pride
Dog in TV or movie Chance from “Homeward Bound” Beethoven from “Beethoven”
Leather jacket wearer Arthur Fonzarelli Tyler Durden
Male pony tail wearer Christopher Columbus Mickey Rourke
“Now That’s What I Call Music!” album 15 2
Branch of military Navy Marines
Color of Mr. Rogers’ cardigan Puke brown Magenta


Kelly Kapowski or Jessie Spano Kelly Kelly
Pokemon Blue or Pokemon Red Blue Red (CHARIZARD!)
Winter X-Games or Summer X-Games Winter Summer
Calvin Klein or Tommy Hilfiger Hilfiger Klein
Team Lauren or Team Kristin Team Kristin Team Lauren
Gator Golf or Slip N Slide Slip N Slide Slip N Slide
Skip It or pogo stick Skip It Pogo stick
Razor scooter or Huffy bike Huffy Huffy
Frosted tips or bowl cut Bowl cut Bowl cut
Memorial Day or Labor Day Memorial Day Labor Day
“Dog The Bounty Hunter” or “American Chopper” “Dog The Bounty Hunter” “Dog The Bounty Hunter”
Spaghetti O’s or Ravioli Ravioli Spaghetti O’s
Truth or dare Dare Dare
Chuck E. Cheese’s or Discovery Zone Chuck E. Cheese’s Chuck E. Cheese’s
Heads Carolina or Tails California Tails California Heads Carolina
Somewhere greener or somewhere warmer Somewhere warmer Somewhere greener
Up in the mountains or down by the ocean Down by the ocean Up in the mountains

Hopefully you have now solidified your choice for whitest guy on the team. If you still are unsure, I suggest going through this chart and figuring out which candidate has the most in common with you and vote for him. Also, feel free to vote as many times as you think is necessary. After you vote, I encourage you to set your Facebook, Myspace, etc. profile pictures as either the "I VOTED TITUS" or "I VOTED MADSEN" images that are pictured below. Let America know where your loyalties lie. I want to sincerely thank you for your participation in the most important election in quite some time. God bless Club Trillion and God bless America.

UPDATE: Because this election is hinting at being bigger than I ever could have imagined it to be, I am extending the polling hours until 5:00 p.m. EST on Friday, March 6th. This extends the election by about five more days, which gives everyone a chance to vote multiple times. It also gives you the chance to spread the word about the election and make sure all your friends cast their votes as well. Make it happen.


Bobby Riddell of Purdue became the first ever two-time one arm embracer in Club Trillion history. He also nearly scored a five trillion on Saturday, but was unfortunately called for a foul in the early going. Chalk up another bad call for the Big Ten refs. Nonetheless, AMPAP to Bobby for being the one-arm embracer MVP.

One Armed Embraces: 9 to date (1 last game)

Bone-Crushing Screens: 1 to date (0 last game)


Your awesome YouTube was sent in to me by Danny P. There's your shout-out, Danny. And here's your video.

Your Friend and My Favorite,

Mark Titus

Club Trillion Founder